have no shame in hating Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-love just the commercialization of an emotion so sweet, so rare, so powerful. Samplers, saccharine cards, and suffocating expectations batter our self-esteem. Oh sure chocolate and flowers are nice but why make them an obligatory supplication to the one you love? Someone has just got to put a stop to this!

Wouldn’t it be far better if the day was spent in charitable acts for those in need? Isn’t love really shown with actions and deeds and those deeds don’t necessarily come in a shade of red or pink? If we made sure a homeless person had a nice meal and place to sleep make us a more loving person? Somehow I think our paradigm for love is totally skewed in the wrong direction on February 14th. We shouldn’t be increasing the coffers of the merchants but rather increasing our capacity for love of humankind everywhere.

When I was young Valentine's Day gave my classmates yet another way to torture and tease me. If there was a valentine with a picture of a skunk on it then you could be sure it found it's way to my Valentine Box. Kids sometimes wrote nasty things on them. I was humiliated. It's hard to be the poor kid in a class. It's hard to be the child who is targeted for abuse at school. We moved when I was in my teens and I began anew. I found people who were actually interested in me. I became a quasi swan. Although never beautiful in a true sense (sorry Grandma) I was told often how pretty I was. I had Valentine's Days with Roses and flowers and starched white table clothes. I've had Valentine's Days wondering how I was going to put food on the table for the boys, alone, and feeling unloved. I've spent Valentine's Day at Concerts, in the movies, and on the dance floor in love or hoping to be soon. I've spent Valentines Day in bed eating candy and watching old movies. I've had pissing rights with flowers delivered to me at work sometimes from more than one beau. I've watched on the sidelines as others fetched their flowers from the delivery man. I can't say that I ever felt, no matter what that total rush of wow I am overwhelmed by love this one day more than other days of the year. I am loved or have been unloved not measured by the amount spent or the way it was spent but more by the commitment of the person I was with to a relationship founded on love.

Be good to yourself and to one another and happy Valentine's Day

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Valentine's Day