Gloria's Place

My relationship with my mother-in-law (MIL) has gone up and down a roller coaster throughout the years.  In the beginning I never stood up for myself. I would let her make racist remarks about me, give me her opinions whether I wanted to here them or not, let her walk in the door when she'd pop over and surprisingly visit even if the timing was bad or inappropriate. Then something she did- disrespecting my home- made me realize I needed to stand up for myself.

I began to stand up for myself and she just couldn't handle it. It angered her and we bickered for over a year, but then eventually, I'm not sure when we found a little bit of common ground. We still often butt heads on many things and she still at times is very pushy and unaware of how selfish she can be, but I've learned along the way that for the most part, deep down inside she means well and though it doesn't come across that way to often I try not to let it bother me so much anymore.

Still I've been hoping for something to come along to help my MIL and I have a closer relationship, more of a mom daughter relationship, instead of just a common courtesy one.  So when the opportunity to review The Daughter-In-Law Rules:  101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-In-Law by Sally Shields came along I was excited. The book was a quick and simple read. I was able to read it in less than a week. I'm sure if I would have set my mind to it I could have read it in even less time.

My thoughts on the book?
I have mixed feelings about the book. Though I found many of the rules helpful I also felt that many of the rules required a sense of self-degradation or at other times fakeness in order to order to get a long with my MIL. I have a problem with that, because this is what I was trying to get away from. It is sad for me to think that the only way to get along with my MIL is to pretend to be someone I'm not by pretending to agree with everything she says just to make her happy (be fake) or my degrading myself (putting myself down to make her feel better about herself).

Of course, like many women, I have no desire of continuing to butt heads with MIL. Still I was hoping to do it by having an open and honest relationship with her. In doing so, I would accept her for who she is and she would accept me for who I am. Perhaps I am a dreamer to think this is ever possible, but this is my ultimate goal.

Fortunately this book did have some rules that I could work with and that would help me find common ground with my MIL. Examples of these good rules are: rules 2-7 and 35-38. There are others as well.  I agree woman should not speak ill of their husbands to their MIL. Your MIL did give birth to your husband and if it weren’t for her he wouldn't be around. I agree that I should do my part calling her more often, making sure she receives a gift on special occasions, etc. I also agree that when spending the night at my MIL or anyone else's house, making your bed and wrapping your "dirty napkins" is extremely important and a sign of respect for others as well as yourself. You are a grown woman you should clean up after yourself.

Rule number 47 is just absolutely funny. Though I’ve never flatulated in front of my mother (that she is aware of at least) I do have a very funny story of her flatulating while giving me an angry "welcome to the family" hug. My brother-in-laws who were behind her tried so hard not to laugh, but as she kept loudly and quickly tooting one-right after the other like a machine gun they just couldn't hold the laughter back. She kept calm and cool and just acted as if nothing happened. I had to admire her for that.


I tried rule 11 once and it completely backfired on me. I don't think I will ever try it again. I completely disagree with rule number 32. To allow yourself harm because you are afraid of being honest with your MIL is ridiculous. There are nice ways to ask your MIL not to wear the perfume around you because it harms you. The same thing goes with rule number 69. Your baby and your baby’s health come first. Let her know smoking is NOT allowed in your home and especially not near the baby. There are no "ands, ifs or buts" about it. Your baby's health is more important than her feelings. If she is willing to chew some nicorette gum to deal with this, great but if not and she thinks your a fool and refuses to listen to you you need to stand up for you and your baby.
 
To improve the book I would like to see more rules on bigger issues. Many times it isn't the little issues but the big issues (ex: bigotry) that keep DILs and MILs from ever getting along.  I don't think it’s a good idea to just nod your head and smile when racist remarks are made. Walk away or let it be known that racist remarks are not okay. You don't need to argue, but you don't have to stay and listen to them either. She needs to know those kind of remarks are not welcome around you or your family. Remember things she says can influence your children.

I would like to continue by stating that one of the reasons I could not agree with many of the rules in this book is because I cannot relate to it as well as I would have liked. The MIL character in this book just sounds absolutely terrible and disrespectful to her DIL.  I mean she is out right mean. She puts her DIL down, curses at her and around her, makes hateful remarks, etc. On top of all that she is the type of woman that will invade your fridge with her dishes and throw yours out. I would never stand for that. Call me prideful, but I call it verbal abuse. I have my limits. When you disrespect me, my family or my home - you're out of there. My MIL can have her rude moments, worst in the past, but if she was ever like this character in this book I would not take it.

I am grateful that my MIL isn't like the one in the book.

For other points of view take a look at this video http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1732351772

Other great features make this book journal a pleasure to have. For example, the day-to-day fetal development information is great to read. Because of it I get an idea of what's going on day to day with my baby and with me rather than those monthly or per trimester reports most popular books provide. So far I have used this feature to explain to my kids how the baby is growing, how mommy is feeling and should be doing and eating.

Another great feature is the due date count back. Yes it is confusing and yes it can be off a few days, but pregnancy is never exact. This serves as a guide and is not written in stone. In fact, I’ve written my dates down in pencil just in case.

Charting your weight and size is a good idea too, though I admit I’m too shy/embarrassed to measure mine so often. I need to though because I’m the type of person that likes to look back at details like these and see how big or small I was at a certain date.

The Did You Know segments are my favorite of the segments. I love fun facts like these. The childbirth and child rearing in different cultures segments is a keeper too. Learning how other women give birth around the world is eye opening, but I must say I had some trouble understanding the way it was written at first.

In addition I enjoyed the quotes at the bottom of each page and other good segments like: For Your Health and Parenting Tips, etc.

The book setup allows me to personalize my pregnancy with the dates and the notes. I don’t see this books as a detailed medical pregnancy reference book but more as a quick guide I can use to jot down notes, emotions etc. Doing this reminds me of a scrapbooking. In fact to me The Pregnancy Journal is a little bit journal and a little bit scrapbook combined. Maybe it should be called Pregnancy ScrapJournal.

If I could personalize this Pregnancy Journal to my Exact liking I would: add places to add pictures (like ultrasound pictures), add just a little bit more space for notes but not much. After all if I want a blank journal to jot down all my thoughts I can go get one. I would also add some pockets at the beginning and end of week so I can keep pregnancy memorabilia inside it. Yes this would convert it into a scrapbook pregnancy journaling book but I did say it was personalized for my liking and I think it would make for a special keepsake after baby is born.

Now as a journal I feel there isn’t much room for notes so I have to write small. Like I mentioned before, just a little more space for this would make a difference. I would also have liked to have had more on pictures of a growing baby, more detail on emotional changes, skin changes, sleeping challenges, aches and pains and if possible a section of good pregnancy exercise tips to help our aching pregnant bodies.

All in all I think this is a good and entertaining pregnancy journal to keep right along side a pregnancy books that provides detailed information.

 
BOOKS ON HEALTH; Pregnancy and Childbirth: More Than How-To Guides

The Pregnancy Journal Review

Chroniclebook The Pregnancy Journal, Revised Edition Review

Buy the book at Amazon

I would like to begin by apologizing for not completing reading this book. It isn't that it wasn't interesting. On the contrary it was very interesting and informative, but within the first week and a half or so of reading this book I discovered I was pregnant. That's right I'm pregnant and this and the nausea have kept me very distracted from finishing it.

The news of the pregnancy came as a shock to me. I was initially angry about it. The timing I thought was just terrible since I will be on my own while my husband is in Iraq. But between this book and a close call (a car accident I could have been in) I realized how much I want this baby.

This is my third pregnancy. Of my 3 pregnancies I've been pregnant twice while working outside the home. My first pregnancy while working was in a very high stressed environment and my boss was not the kindest man. Though he had children and a wife of his own he could have really cared less about anyone else's.  My second pregnancy while working outside the home only requires part time work from me, has a daycare and is very family oriented. Still initially deciding to tell my boss and his boss I was pregnant was a bit scary. I was afraid they'd think I wouldn't stick around or not be able to stick around and therefore not continue helping me progress in my career as a fitness instructor.

So The Working Woman's Pregnancy Book came just at the nick of time for me. It was a lovely coincidence. It was this book that helped me realize that I was pregnant in the first place. It was then the book (chapter 8 and 9) and an accident I had on a stationary bike while at work, but not while working (I blame my clumsiness on the baby:)) that helped me decide to tell my immediate boss about a week and some after I found I was pregnant.  I just went up to him and told him. It was surprisingly well taken and knowing my situation at home he even said, "If there is any way I can help, let me know". I thought it was very sweet and a much better reaction than the last time I was pregnant and told my previous jerk of a boss that I was pregnant.

What I liked best about his reaction and my boss’s boss's reaction (I told her a few days ago) was that neither of them looked disappointed or worried that they would need to find someone else. On the contrary they already have it all planned out for me. When the current pregnant fitness instructor comes back from maternity leave she'll cover for me until I come back just like they are planning on me covering for her while she's out on maternity leave. Yep! Another pregnant instructor is about ready to pop and she's still working. She doesn't participate in the exercise as much anymore but she still instructs very well. She even gave me some pointers to teach exercise without always having to participate. I considered myself to be blessed working here.

The approach to this book is wonderful. The author is right. There are very few pregnancy books out there that provided detailed information for mothers who work outside the home. I enjoyed the quotes from other mother's included in the book too. It helps to know what other mother's working outside the home must go through.

The chapter and section divisions are great. It makes it easy to skip around the book and find specifics you maybe looking for. For example I wanted a refresher on how early or late I could receive an epidural during labor if I were to choose to go this route again. I quickly found the information on page 342.

The pictures in the book are also very detailed and I love that. It made explaining to my girls that I was having a baby much easier. They were so happy and loved to look at pictures. They wanted more though. I will admit I wanted more pictures too. More week-by-week or even month by month pictures would have been great. I am a very visual person. I like to read the information and then see it in a picture.

I would have also liked to have had more in depth examples of what to do when you are pregnant and have a job that requires physical labor like mine (fitness instructor) does. Though there was some description on jobs that required some physical labor, the information provided for jobs that were completely physically labor was very brief and vague.

I also noticed that there was nothing on pregnancy clumsiness, armpit skin darkness (I forget the name of it) or above the abdominal skin rashes.  I understand everything can't be covered in one book, but these are the things I tend to go through in my pregnancies so that 's what I look for.

I look forward to reading the rest of this book. It's the kind of book you keep on your reference shelf to keep going back to every time you need a refresher about what's going on with your body when you're pregnant.


Buy it here http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0300113242/mothertalk-20/.






    

Care.com is an online childcare service provider website, but it isn’t just for daycare for children. There are services listed for senior care, tutoring, and pet care as well. Click on the service you need at the top. Type in the zip code you’re interested in and the click on the miles in distance you are willing to travel or want someone to travel to you. Click go and instantly a list of providers pops up on the screen.

There are also opportunities on Care to be listed as a provider if you want to tutor, take care of children, etc.

What I really like about Care.com is:
The background check. I’m not a very trusting person. If I’m going to let some stranger take care of my kids I want them to be certified, know CPR and most importantly have a clean criminal record. Care.com provides this service, but I will be honest. I have yet to actually ask for a background check on anyone since I have yet to find someone that fits my requirements for childcare for my kids. I’m not intensively looking for someone either since I wont really need someone until next year.

Still I like that at the push of a button (with the person’s consent) I can look into a child care provider’s criminal background. Is he or she a pedophile, a drug user, etc? At least these are the things that should be listed. How accurate is the background check? I’m not sure, but I will use it along with calling the list of reference that are provided and looking to see how updated the CPR card is.

The Pet Care Section. It makes me feel comfortable to know that if I ever have to leave town all of sudden or if I want to go on vacation, I can ask someone listed from Care.com to take care of my pet. I will know the fee upfront and of course have the ability to do the background check on them as well.

The Articles on Homepage. Here Care.com members can find advice and articles on choosing the best child care, how to determine what should be paid for child care, using child care in unique ways such as someone watching your kids while you make a large holiday meal, etc.

The Reviews. If you choose a provider you can leave a review on their services either by using the star rating or writing your own review.

Emails forwarded. Contacting a provider is easy. Receiving a reply is even easier. In fact if you are not logged onto Care.com and you receive a reply or a message an email will be sent to you regular email letting you know that there is a message for you at Care.com. This is a great feature, because it helps remind me to look.

Interactive Map. The interactive map that shows you exactly where your provider is in proximity to the location you need service in is very helpful. I used this a lot. To pinpoint exactly how far I would need to drive to find child care in case of emergency or if my childcare provider was not available on a particular day how close the next day care provider would be and so on.

I believe Care has a lot of potential and I am grateful that I have had this opportunity to review this website. It is a great idea and a much needed resource for people everywhere who need help taking care of their loved ones but have no idea who to turn to. I do however have noticed a few kinks with Care.com that I would like to see worked out.

Profiles need to be updated and accurate. For example one provider I exchanged emails with did not have an updated profile. So while she replied that she was able to work in the evenings her profile listed the opposite. In this same profile her age in her profile introduction was different from her age in the profile details. It made me wonder what else could be incorrect on her profile. Are her qualifications updated? Does she really have 8 years experience?

Reviews: Although this is a wonderful feature to have I was disappointed to see that of all the people I looked at even the ones I clicked on just to see, not one of them had a review on them, good or bad. I am the type of person that looks at reviews and would really like to see this feature used. Especially the written personal experience reviews.

In additions, there was one particular person I found that had everything I was looking for in child care: CPR, first aid, flexible hours, light cleaning experience taking care of multiple children, etc. Unfortunately I never received a response to the email I sent her. She also has not logged in the last 6 months. Is she still available? I guess someone was lucky enough to hire her before I ever could. There is a contact phone number to call so I may try to seek her out again in a month or two.

Things I would like to see added, but that are not needed:
I would like to see Care.com provide links or PDF for invoice worksheets, emergency phone lists, contracts, printable referral or business cards etc, to print out. The print outs can then easily be exchanged between parents and providers making it easier on everyone to work together.

Care.com for "babysitters, nannies, pet sitters and more."

A few weeks ago if someone had asked me how-to tips to teach a child to read my answer would have been, “First teach your child the alphabet, the alphabet sounds and read to your child every day.” Today my answer would include, “Then introduce your child to the Bob Books collection”.

When my package of Bob Books Set 1 arrived, my oldest daughter, who is in kindergarten, had just arrived home from school. Her 7-year-old friend was over too. I opened the package of books in front of the girls (including my youngest who is three years old) and their curious little heads all began to look over my shoulder to see what I was opening.

Immediately I began to read to them. Simple and short I doubted that these little books could help my daughter learn to read, but I was pleasantly surprised. Reading and pointing to each word as I read it I could hear my oldest (the one in kindergarten), which sat beside me, repeating and sounding out the words I read to her.

The BOB Books collection, text by Bobby Lynn Maslen, pictures by John R. Maslen, comes in 5 sets. Set 1 contains 12 books each with only 12 pages of simple words. The first page of each book introduces the new sounds that appear in the book with a drawing of a word that begins with that particular letter. Each book has a simple story and cute line drawings that children can relate to. My daughter uses the image ideas to draw her own pictures now.

Both my daughters found the stories to be silly and at times funny. My oldest was capable of understanding what each story in each book was about. For example, in book 11 my daughter tells me excitedly, as I near the end of the book, “I told you she was pregnant!” The Mat character sitting on the Sam character in book 2 made her giggle and the fact that the pink pig and red hen in book 10 were not colored in intrigued her.

In addition the sentences and sounds are repetitive which helps children learn quickly. And as the books progresses the sentences and titles and words progress to longer words as well. For example, books 1-4 consist mostly of 3 letter words and short sentence. By Book 9-12 there are pages with more than one sentence per page and at the same time punctuation, sounds, numbers and colors are introduced too.

By the 3rd day of reading Bob Books to my children my oldest began to take the liberty to read on her own. In fact on that day as I read to them and at the same time jotted down notes about the 7th book for this review my oldest grabbed the 8th book from my lap and began to try to pronounce the title.  I heard her loudly and proudly say, “Riff!” 
“Ruff” I kindly corrected.
“Ruff” she repeated and then continued reading. “And Muff,” she said.
“Good job! Muff and Ruff!” I proudly told her, smiled at her and then continued to jot down notes for books 7 with my right ear cocked in the direction of her voice as she flipped through the rest of the book’s pages pronouncing as best she could the 3 letter words and simple sentences. These are the kind of books kids learning to read want to pick up and just read all on their own.

Over the next few days it was my daughter who was the one reading and she was reading to us (her sister, father and I). At first she read with some difficulty. She confused words like Mac and Mag or bag and dog. Other times she was too confident, she would skip over words entirely, but then corrected herself when we were too slow to correct her. Recently, I heard her tell her dad “Oh yeah! These are easy!” as she saw him walking with the set of books upstairs to listen to her read before bed time.

I would love to get my hands on Bob Books sets 2-5. I thank Mother Talk for introducing me to BOB Books Set 1, Beginning Readers and allowing me to review it. I plan to introduce this set of books to my oldest daughter’s teacher. I only hope she likes them. I feel they are much more educational than the go-along computer books she handed out to us (the parents) at the beginning of the year to practice with our kids at home. The environmentalist in me only wishes that the author and the publishing company would print Bob Books on recycled paper and hopes that one day the author could come up with a set of beginner reading books that teaches kids about recycling.

My Favorite Books of Set 1:
Land and The Fat Fat Cat
Sam
Dot and The Dog
10 Cut-Ups


Official Bob Book Web site: http://www.bobbooks.com/

I’m a mom, but I don’t have teenagers, just little ones. My parents constantly re-reminded me, “they’ll be teenagers before you know it”. They say one day, I will look at them and I will wonder where the years went and also why I don’t know anything about my children anymore. Luckily, Mother Talk and their courtesy copy of James Patterson’s Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports has given me a head start, a small glimpse of what I’m in for. I have to say if they’re anything like Max the main character, a young tough sarcastic heroine teenager with a big heart, having teenagers wont be that bad. At least this is what I’m hoping for.

I began reading the third book first which is backwards and made a few things in the book unclear, but Chapter 2 provided a nice simple uncomplicated sum-up that explained who the bird kids are and where they come from. Still I have a need to read book 1 and book 2 to answer a few questions such as what exactly happened to Angel the first time she was captured. But there was no critical information missing in book 3 that kept me from enjoying the read. It’s more like something to look forward to as I find out about Max and the other bird-kids’ beginnings.

So what are the bird kids like? We’ll first off they’re tough, especially considering all the torture they have undergone throughout the short period of their lives (cages, needles, and other torture). Erasers are always chasing them and evil scientists are always testing them. They’ve had several near death experiences and they’ve even been cloned. This kind of stuff would toughen up anyone, right? So the bird-kids deal with it the only way they know how. They joke about it. The also take care of each other like a family (or a flock which ever way you want to look at it).  Max and Fang take on the mom and pop roles and Ig is kind of like the older brother, but like normal kids all the bird kid’s really want to do is just eat and have fun. Too bad they’re stuck with the job of saving the world.

I know!...I know what you’re thinking! “Perfect book for young teenagers!” James Patterson does a nice job of making it a fun read too with his quick simple style of writing and still sneaks in some educational things like: new vocabulary words which Max (though not educated) frequently spews out of her sarcastic mouth. There all the geographical reference as well that are snuck in as the bird-kids talk about where they travel. Oh and I can’t forget to mention the environmental tidbits/issues/crisis/politics that keeps popping up throughout the book (pg 12, 40, 200 282…). This is what I liked most about the book. My only wish is that the James Patterson and the publishing company would have considered having the book printed on recycled paper to coincide with the stories environmental aspects. Any one ever heard of Eco-Libris?

I enjoyed James Patterson’s simple and quick, but detailed style of writing in this book too. Despite the book’s 405 pages, the book is an easy read with short chapters a young teenager can easily enjoy as leisure reading (vs. school reading) during the summer, during vacation or maybe even the school year if she/he isn’t already bogged down with complicated books to read. Yes, reading really can be enjoyable. I would have loved more books like this when I was a teenager.

If you don’t know who James Patterson is, he the author of seventeen No. 1 bestsellers and has sold more than twelve million books sold in North America alone. The numbers probably don’t matter to you if you’ve never read any of his books or don’t know who he is so to find a list of books he has written go to James Patterson website. Here you will find a list of his books. Among them are the Alex Cross Series, The Women's Murder Club series and the Maximum Ride series.

What I think could have been a little bit better is the book's ending. Too be honest it was a little too far stretched for me. How can I explain this without ruining the ending? I just can’t see how one blog can gather so many kids all over the world to help Max when she needs it most. I also thought Max’s character description, leadership abilities and backtalk would have come more naturally from an older teenager –maybe 16-17. Then again she has been genetically altered and tortured her entire life which may make birds-kids mature much faster than the average kid. Maybe I’m just out of touch with teenagers today.

By the way if any of you have read this book can you help me find out who sent Fang that secret message about the traitor in the group? And how in the world did he get the computer back after they were captured? Did I misread something or weren’t the backpacks taken away? If they weren’t why weren’t they? If I were an evil scientist I’d take everything away. At least I think I would. Wouldn’t you?


Follow these links for more stuff:
Maximum Ride
Fang’s Blog
Upcoming Movie