Dec. 13, 2006 - MOPS lesson 2- Super Mommies?

Did you know?

A 1999 study by Edelman Financial Services Inc. concluded that a mother's worth is approximately $508,700 per year, or almost $42,400 per month. This number is based on what the median yearly salary would be for at least seventeen occupations a multi-tasking mother is expected to do. So whenever you find yourself wondering about the benefits of having a mom, try finding the money you'd need to pay someone to do everything that you do.

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If you had to write down your "job description" of being a mom what would it involve?  Just think about how dependent our children are on us.  If we didn't do it, who would?  I so often think I want to be the Supper Mommy or Wonder Woman, but I fail so miserably.  I'm now beginning to see that doing the little things really does add up, and that in doing those "little things" for my children I ALREADY AM their own Super Mommy.  (Just think about if you really never DID do the laundry or dishes!)

The MOPS mantra- MOTHERS MATTER!

Nov. 28, 2006 - MOPS- Mothers of Preschoolers

So I've bought the MOPS book "What Every Mom Needs" by Morgan & Kuykendall and have read through most of it.  It was only until recently that I remembered signing up for an online course.  Free Christian courses available from ChristianCourses.com- see following link for available courses:  

http://cc.christiancourses.com/index.php?redirected=1&

Plus they also send out a free copy of devotional pamphlet "Our Daily Bread" every month or so.

I've decided to try and keep my "homework" for the course posted here.  Not only as an accountability thing, but maybe some of you can help me out and maybe I might encourage someone else too.

I haven't attended any of the official MOPS meetings yet (the next one doesn't meet in my are for about 2 weeks) but I'm planning on it.

Well, here goes with my homework/ notes section:

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Questions:

·        Before you had children, what did you think mothering would be like? How has that changed?

I envisioned all the good things of motherhood, like the gently holding my baby in my arms because I wanted too, not because the baby was making me hold him.  I envisioned showing him how to do things and “getting it” from the start.  I envisioned prompt obedience from my children.  I had hoped that I would be a cool, calm, and collected mother, with the desire to play with my children, to want to spend my time with them, but also that I would be able to accomplish what I wanted to and needed to within my own timetable, not theirs.

How has it changed?  How could it stay the same?  My ideas of motherhood were only rosy.  I expected to have some sleepless nights, but having 3 children in 4 years has taken its toll on me.  I haven’t had a decent night’s rest in ages.  And I don’t have any time to myself at all.  I realized that mothering is actually WORK, not just something to be done in my spare time or when I feel like it.  Mothering is a 24/7 thing.  I have to be on top of my game and on top of my children or everything suffers- dinner, the house, the laundry, my children, my relationship with my husband, and my own sanity.  Everything in my life revolves around my children, and sometimes I just wish that I had some time to myself for things that I want to do, things that I want to think about.

Oddly, I thought that my children wouldn’t have their own thoughts, desires, or needs.  Or at least I thought that they would be akin to mine, and that I could convince them otherwise.  But I’ve (stupidly) discovered that my children are actually living, breathing, thinking individuals with ideas of their own.  And their desires are hardly ever my desires.

·        Right now, today, what do you need?

I need a break.  I need help.  I need understanding and compassion.  I need my husband to understand that while I am a mom, I am also human and have my own faults, needs, and desires (and that the desires don't always match up with his.)  I have other aspirations than just being a mom, just being a housekeeper, and errand runner.  I need to have my own thoughts, my own dreams, my own ideas, and I need them to be validated and heard.  I need to be able to express myself freely without fear of being rejected or misinterpreted.  I need a friend who understands. 

I DON’T need a husband who judges me or stifles my ideas.  I DON’T need a mother-in-law who gives unsolicited advice, and tries to guilt me into doing things “her” way.  I DON’T need parents who are available only when it’s convenient, who talk badly about my husband to other, and who make me feel unloved.

 What I've learned:

·        Just because I’m a mom now doesn’t mean that I’ve finished learning or growing.

·        Ignoring my needs jeopardizes not only me, but the entire needs of the family.

About needs:

Needs are normal.  A mom who believes that she has no important needs is sure to end up feeling frustrated and empty.

Needs are personal.

Needs must be recognized.  Psychological symptoms: anxiety, depression, uncontrolled temper, etc. are either the direct result of or defensive attempts to cope with unmet personal needs.

·        Moms must learn to recognize and meet their own needs in order to better meet the needs of their children.  (Story of the pre-flight instructions and the oxygen mask- moms should breathe first before attending to those they are traveling with.)