A Bit Better Blog

Moving!

I have moved to an new cyberspace location. I now blog at:

http://auterrific.mu.nu/

This blog is hosted by the lovely Linda, and shared with several others with whom I am very happy to associate! Hope you'll check us out.

Strange days indeed...

I've been thinking about moving this blog, since the sp8mmers keep getting in here. But in the meantime, I thought I'd finally post again. The latest is, I came across an old friend on the Internet and I contacted him. This is one of those friends that I can be out of touch with (about 6 years this time round), and then it's like no time has passed. Everything was going fine, we were having a lighthearted exchange of e-mail, until I asked him a very heavy question about something that happened between us 20 years ago, in our freshman year of college. He answered the question but I could tell it didn't thrill him to have to do so. Of course you can't always tell what's going on in someone's mind when you are far away from them, but it was just kind of a sense that I had. So far he's quit writing to me, and I guess it is just as well, because I can't undo it--I can't make it *not* appear that I did this foolish thing. Now I suppose it will be another six years, at least.

I knew it was a hog groundhog

I hope that title got your attention...so, y'know how when you click into a box on the screen and a drop-down of choices comes up based on things you've typed into boxes before? This just happened when I went to compose a title to this post, and you'd think my drop-down here would had titles I've used previously, but it didn't--which actually makes sense given that I've written most of my blog entries on my work computer, and I happen to be home now. No, the list was quite eclectic, including things like "CD download," which I think was the husband's type-in. I had to think for a second to remember where this groundhog thing came from. I was looking for lyrics to a song from an album I have of folk music (for kids) that came out in the 50s I think. It was actually my parents' record but I filched it because I liked it so much (not to mention that at that point they no longer have a turntable and I still do). Anyway I periodically look up the artist to see if I can find out anything about him, and just now, searching again, I found out he became a child psychiatrist. The folk singing and recording was a hobby, and I think we had the album because my uncle knew him or something like that. Anyway, it seems I shall have to go through the motions of putting the recording into digital form, and hope that my kids like it as much as I do.

Prizes and a Plug

Just stopping by quickly to say Yay, me! I just won a prize. It's a year's subscription to this:

Please Help: how to delete certain comments??

Okay, so...

It has been over a month since I posted here (entried here?) and there's so much I could talk about. I'll just do this in the form of a list.

• I'm still very very sleep deprived, and I suspect that it was the sleep deprivation that caused my ear issues to get all radical.
• My ear is okay. Surgery was successful, there was no growth in the mastoid, just fluid, and nothing grew in the lab (sorry to make you all squirm). There's still fluid behind my eardrum, affecting my hearing but Ear Surgeon says it's all fine.
• My not-quite-two-year-old knows how to pee pee in the potty! 'Nuff said.
• My husband still doesn't sleep at night, usually because of his back, but he has been told he needs yoga, not surgery. This from a neurosurgeon.
• Four-year-old Einstein can't get enough Scooby Doo.
• My house is still cluttered and disorganized. I did get a couple of hours to myself and cleaned my bedroom closet--I didn't quite finish, but now I can actually walk in, and I know where everything is in there. I want more time to do more of this! It was fun and makes me happy!
• Coming up: my 20th high school reunion (small private school, so it's just a brunch, nothing fancy), my son's 2nd birthday party (super-low-key, just family and "extended" family [e.g. babysitter], plus a friend or two for Einstein, and our 10th anniversary (for which nothing is planned).

All right...there's the summary. I shall return presently.

The Lunch Report

Greek salad. yum! You see, my office has now moved and the new place lacks a cafeteria but instead has all of these food places in short walking distance. So of course I have to try them all out. So far I had a (boring) tuna salad sandwich from this little market that also has a giant salad bar, a cheesesteak from Philadelphia Mike's (I was good and didn't get fries), an "Italian" from Potbelly's (oh those hot peppers!), and today's greek salad from this little food court--I must say that I'm impressed because the salads were made to order and tasted very good and fresh.

That's all that's on my mind right now. Ha! Only kidding! Ear surgery is next week, but first, we go on a mini-vacation for Labor Day weekend. Tonight I finish packing and cleaning up the house--our neighbor is taking care of our cat for us and when she came over last night to get our key I was so embarrassed--the mess looks a lot worse when you are seeing it through the eyes of someone else, and to make things worse I couldn't even FIND a slip of paper to write our alarm code on. This cannot go on, people....

Better finish working so I can get me the heck outta here. Enjoy the holiday!

Crazy

My impending office move and my impending ear surgery have been making my life nuts. On August 1 I went to the third doctor about my ear, and this one looked at my CAT scans and there was no doubt in his mind I needed surgery. Instead of scheduling it right away, though, I decided to get the office move and my Labor Day weekend trip out of the way beforehand, which meant Sept. 7, at that time over a month away. I felt find doing this because all this time I have had virtually no symptoms; it was just the weird CAT scan that made my original ENT worry even though my ear infection finally cleared. You might be able to guess where this is going. As soon as I scheduled the surgery, I started to feel stuff, like pressure in and around the ear, including in my face. I started getting freaked out and anxious about all this, wondering if it meant the growth in my ear was pressing on my brain or something. I called and got reassurance from the doctor once, but after the second call, he had me make an appointment, which is in 2 days. I've come to the conclusion now that my symptoms aren't really getting worse, but are just coming and going, and that makes me feel a little more confident that I won't be miserable during my trip (hopefully!). But if I'd done the operation at the first possible time, it would be done and over with now, and I could think about the move, trip, and everything else without the additional anxiety this ear business has caused me. Lesson learned.

I should be posting more once all this is over with!

Quickie to bring blog up to date

Somewhat busy day ahead but hopefully I will have time for a meaningful post soon. Office moving to next town next month, boss going on vacation and wanting to have everything set for while she is gone, and all the usual stuff might keep me away until tomorrow--and I just thought of a meeting I'm supposed to be at later. So, stand by!

bec :D

Obstacles, or "What's Stopping You?"

Oops! I began this on June 27...it's been almost a month. I shall post it now and begin a new entry soon.

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On yesterday's post, Redsmom94 commented: "I do that [purge] every once in a while, too. It always feels so good to let go of the clutter that was weighing me down, whether it's at home or at work."

Yes, I always feel good after any sort of cleaning out, purging, organizing, whatever you want to call it. This one time I discovered that the bottom of one of those plastic tube-like containers of cleanser had split open, causing the cleanser to get all over everything in the bathroom drawer. I was forced to clean out the drawer, which led to throwing out old stuff and putting the useful stuff in the drawer in an easily-accessed manner. Just one drawer, but it felt good and saved precious seconds of my morning and evening routines.

The thing is, the project on which I am embarking is tremendous. The entire house needs purging. Every drawer, every shelf, every room. There are no two-hour-long blocks of time I can set aside for this, so I already figured out that I have to break it all down into tiny, tiny pieces. In theory, I should be spending like 15 minutes a day on this.

But, of course, I haven't been! Why not? Basically, there are chores that have to get done, such as making the kids' lunches for the next day and cleaning up after dinner. Often I'm too tired to do any more than that. Of course, after we eat we end up continuing to watch whatever we started watching (sometimes it is something we DVR'd, so we can zap commercials, but still), and that eats up more of the evening. Sometimes I even fall asleep watching, and have to really drag myself out of my stupor to get any of my stuff done.

Another obstacle I run into is simply this: when I find myself with a little bit of time with which I could get a little purging done, I find I don't know where to start.

Purge Campaign

My office is moving in a couple of months, and in preparation for this we are having a series of "purge campaigns" designed to give everyone a jump on getting rid of stuff so it doesn't have to be moved. I'm a bit behind schedule with this (surprise!) from being out so much with health stuff, but once I started it was really kind of fun. It turns out, of course, that we all save stuff we don't need to save. Some things I come across and think, "I know I saved this for a reason, but who knows what the heck the reason was!" Another thing I really like is that by purging, and then ultimately moving to an entirely new place, I will get rid of the "ghosts" left by people that used to use this office. For example, here's a pen that was here when I moved in, that I kept for some reason but didn't actually use. Or, here's my stuff organized the way the person who used to be here organized stuff, but not necessarily the way I would have if the office was completely empty when I got here. And recycling large quantities of paper, well, it's good for the soul, I say.

As I may have mentioned before, this same thing needs to be done in my house. For lack of a better term, this goal or mission of mine will be called a purge campaign, though it is more than that. I have to get rid of stuff, surely, but I also have to get things I keep moved to where they will be more useful. I really hate living in all my clutter, but even worse, I would hate to end up in a situation where I'd be forced to do the purge really quickly, like if we found a great deal on a house and decided to move, or something. So I want to get it done before any situation like that arises. So I've decided that this blog will mostly document the progress of that.

I'll be back with a plan.

Wake. Up.

It's tough to get work done when you keep falling asleep. Yeah, I'm back to this again. It doesn't help that 2 nights ago, Einstein kept waking up and crying "Moooommmmmeeeee!" We deduced that his new "sounds" clock was getting into his head and giving him bad dreams: he has been choosing either "Tick Tock" or "Heartbeat"; both sounds that would keep me up, not help me sleep. So we took the clock away from him until we can have a deep conversation about it.

I go for a second opinion on my ear soon. I don't have an appointment yet because my ENT has to figure out who I should go to that is in my insurance plan. This person will be deciding whether or not I need surgery. Yeah, someone might be fooling around near my brain with sharp instruments. Woo!

In other news, the baby (who is hardly a baby at 19 months), continues to say adorable things. He often asks questions such as "Daddy, what are you doing?" (although all you actually hear is "Daddy, doing?") and "Mommy, where are you?" He commands people to "yook" at him, and has added "now" to all requests: "milk, now."

Drunken Noodles

Thought I'd let you all know that I just had an order of Drunken Noodles with chicken from the Thai place down the street. Yum! I'm still hungry though. Sometimes my appetite amazes me. I actually have 4 rugelach (in Yiddush that is plural) sitting on my desk. I was intending to have them for breakfast tomorrow, but boy are they calling me. I may have to do a vending machine run or something.

I have to buy a baby gift for a shower we are attending on Saturday afternoon. If I go shopping after work today, I'll miss my son's gymnastics/sports skills class. But if I don't go, that leaves me precious little time to get the gift. I can't go tomorrow evening, and Friday is cutting it close.

Well, I've been goofing off since my boss and assistant boss left for a managers' retreat. I'd better get some work done or I'll just have lots more to do later. Quick health update: my ear might finally be getting better; I can hear out of it a little bit better. I still hear the pulsating, and there's still some drainage (I know, ew). The doc just put me on another oral antibiotic in addition to the IV stuff, and if that doesn't work he's going to prescribe more IV stuff. The doc seems baffled since I keep telling him I have never had trouble with this ear before, and I don't get infections easily (which would indicate that I have some immune deficiency), so he can't explain this. I go back, yet again, on Monday.

Things We All Suck At

Okay, I suppose I'm not speaking for everybody. But after my last entry, in which I noted that I suck at meal planning and at keeping up with my kids' clothing sizes, I got 2 lovely comments chirping in with "me too! me too!" So I think I speak for many of us, anyway.

This is just a quick post to acknowledge that, and to say that I'm now on IV antibiotics for my ear infection that will. not. go. away. I've done 2 infusions now, and was taught today how to do it myself (I have a midline, which is a 20 cm catheter in the vein, stays put for up to 8 weeks, but I only need 2 thank G-d). So my plan is either to get up early tomorrow and get it all over with, or to take all my supplies with me and do it at work.

Oh, one more thing: yesterday evening I ended up, magically, with some free time. My husband took the kids to the grocery store while I waited at home for the delivery of supplies from the home infusion people. I cleared off my nightstand which has (embarrassingly) been covered with junk for a long time. It made me so happy. I found a bunch of ponytail holders (which explained where they all went), and a book I'd finished reading that I promptly passed on to a neighbor. Then I cleared out my bra and panty drawer and got rid of all the things that are too old/torn/don't fit/ have out of whack wires, etc. Why do we keep things like that?? Then I was able to stop piling the excess on top of the dresser. YAY! I just wish I had time to do ALL the drawers and surfaces....

Things I Suck At

Meal Planning.

I'm so envious of moms who seem to be able to go home and find something to have/make for dinner and only occasionally decide that there's really nothing good and let's order pizza. We do the pizza or something equivalent much more often.

Keeping up With the Kids' Clothes Sizes/Seasons

Both kids have had clothes in piles and in their drawers that have to be stored elsewhere, and other clothes in baskets that have just been unearthed for the new season and washed. I don't think I'll ever be able to walk into the kids' rooms and see drawers full of CURRENT clothing.

Is it wrong for my big lifelong dream to be organization?

She's Back!

I thought that I ought to post at least something with today's date, since I just posted a comment on a blog and linked it to this blog, which could lead to a tiny remote possibility that someone will be curious and click on the link and come here only to find that the last post was to say I'm not dead and that was it. We can't have that, now, can we? That person would never come back. And then I'd be sad.

So, I will get this out quickly, because I am swamped with work, and a bit distracted. It is Friday after all and the weather is, FINALLY, beautiful and springlike.

I am going to cut and paste the story of the health crisis from an e-mail I sent to a friend. Then, next post, I will fill in a bit more detail and update and all that. Here goes:

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There's a bit more--for several days after this I didn't feel well again, and even missed more work. It was either some sort of vitamin deficiency or a little bug we all caught because DH had some symptoms too and this kids had more sickness with one more pediatrician trip. But this week I felt great and went to the office!! The only remaining problem is the ear is still infected, but I started a new drug today and am crossing my fingers. If this doesn't do it, I'll have to have an actual procedure. I also find out Monday if that excising thing will take place.  All right, I want to post this as is, and I'll be back to tell you more.

If anyone is out there ...

Progress, I Guess

This much was written Tuesday, March 13:

So last night I went to sleep at ... wait for it ... 11:20 p.m. Yes, that is a full 40 minutes prior to midnight. Wow! I feel fully rested.

I am totally kidding about the fully rested part, or course. It would take several 10-hour blocks of sleep before that would happen.

The other thing I need to work on is getting out of the house more quickly. My office is moving in the fall, even farther away from me, so I really need to get the morning routine streamlined. On Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings, hubby takes the kids to school, and on those days I am usually leaving before anyone else gets up. The problem is that I futz around, trying to make sure that things are all set for them, so I look for clothes for the kids (should be the night before), move a misplaced jacket to its rightful spot so that he's not searching for it, etc. If I actually tried to leave when I'm supposed to, I would imagine that I forgot to do something.

Okay, now it's Thursday. I actually have the day off today and will hopefully be able to take a nap. I'm having new issues now: I just started on Loestrin 24 Fe birth control pills. I was taking progesterone-only pills because I was nursing, and those don't really count, so now I'm going on birth control pills for the first time in 9 or 10 years. Starting a couple of days ago I started having midcycle pain, and it has been awful. I have never had pain this bad (not counting miscarriage and birth-related pain). It's also wreaking havoc on my digestive system, which is already messed up (subject for another post). Suffice it to say I am not feeling well, so I'm actually going to post this and write again when I'm in a happier mood.

Stand by....

March Monday

There is one thing worse than having only a five-hour window in which to sleep (I know, that's so obvious, a four-hour or three-hour or two-hour window would all be worse, but work with me here). Going to sleep expecting to have a solid five-hour window and then having that window interrupted several times. First of all, there was Einstein. (I am going to be referring to my 4-year-old as Einstein from now on. This is not because he is a genius, even though he is, but because he has a zebra named Einstein who is his favorite friend.)  Einstein has always been a pretty good sleeper, but lately he has been getting up during the night. Sometimes it is bad dreams, sometimes he just wants a drink of water and can't quite get his mind to work to get it himself. There were quite a few wake-ups last night, not all of which I was awake for--sometimes even his crying does not wake me, and this bothers me to no end; I mean, I'm supposed to have a motherly sense of these things, right?

One of these wakeups occurred right at 5:00 a.m. My alarm goes off at that time but I usually hit the snooze anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes before I actually get up. Instead I was up, because Einstein woke up and my husband was grumbling about it afterward. Speaking of hubby, he adds a wrinkle to my whole sleep problem. He has trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons. So even though I get ridiculously little sleep, I end up getting marginally more than he does. So what does this mean? This means I have to let him sleep all morning (sometimes into the afternoon) on weekends. I have found that asking him to get up with the kids or suggesting he get up before he wants to is usually just a bad idea.

Fortunately, I figured out a good thing to do with these mornings while we are waiting for him to wake up. I have spent way too many Saturday and Sunday mornings hanging out in my pajamas, which I hate. I didn't want to go in there and get dressed  because that would wake him, and I prefer to shower in the mornings anyway, so I just waited until I could shower. I finally realized that was stupid, and for the past two weeks I have been whisking the kids to the gym. They get to play in a fun playroom that has computers and a TV as well as toys. It only costs me a few bucks for the time, and I get to work out. I wasn't doing this before because I couldn't stand the thought of bringing the kids to a child care place after they have been in child care all week. But then I realized: a) it is only for an hour or two at the most, b) it is a different playroom with different toys than they have at day care or home, which is always fun no matter what, and c) if they have some awareness of what I am doing there, I will be setting a good example and showing that regular exercise is good and fun. Of course now that I have finally decided not to feel bad about this and just to do it, the weather is getting nice, and I have a whole new reason to feel bad, namely, keeping them inside.

We were talking about cancelling the gym membership because we don't use it, so this is good that I am finally justifying the expense, because I really didn't want to cancel it. Now the challenge will be to figure out if I can somehow get to the gym during the week too. The only way would be if I told my husband that I was going to go every Tuesday from now on, or something, because there is just no way I can pick the kids up from day care and bring them to the gym. That's just wrong. My husband plays pool in a league every Thursday, so my doing a weekly thing would be only fair. ...

I'd better be getting to work, so I'll sign off now. Next time might be an update on the eating-at-home campaign. It's going well, but tonight is grocery day so I have to come up with more meals to carry us through.

Never Do Today...

One word that can be used to describe me, rather unfavorably I lament, is: procrastinator. I just created a category for posts covering the topic of putting stuff off. Because I do it all the time.

I've learned that there will always be someone who is a worse procrastinator than I am. My dear friend from school used to start assignments at midnight the night before they were due. I was never that bad. She worked particularly well under pressure, and I can't say it came back to haunt her because she went to medical school and is now a pychiatrist. She did okay. Same with a law school classmate of mine who always finished everything with milliseconds to spare. Last I heard he had a great job and everything was working out.

Okay, I started this on Thursday and--presto change-o--it has become Monday. I shall come back to this issue in the future.